random thinking

I tried to give up smoking last week and I sucked at that and am now smoking again.grrrrr I really wanted to do it, but the last few days things got on top of me and well they were too tempting.
I really want to try and be a better mother to my kids...they are awesome little human beings who make such a difference to the world already just by being them, that I want to bring out their every potential, I want to be readily available to help them strive for their dreams, whatever that may be at whatever point in their life.
I have decided that this is going to be a great year for us...no more negativity.I have nothing to be negative about I have a husband who is as hot as hell and really does adore me, two amazing kids and life in general is good.I have fantastic friends, IRL and on the net who it doesnt matter what time it is or what they are doing seem to be readily available for me.
I can honestly say that I am looking forward to my 30's, they are going to be great years!! I even got a new tattoo to mark the occassion.!.A dragonfly to represent strength and happiness..Inner strength is something I needed a lot of last year, and happiness for what the future brings.
So in amongst my pandemonium, I am going to try and find some time to be really appreciative of what I have and just to stop and not sweat the little stuff cos in the end it doesnt matter.

There's gonna be some changes!!

Now that I am suppose to grow considering I just turned 30 (umm yeah cant see me growing up but any hoo!!)
No but seriously I have decided to make some changes in my life, since my last post DH & I have had some major issues come up, but have managed to work our way through them. It hasnt been pretty in this household but now its great!! We have spoken about stuff that should have been spoken about when it happened rather than let it fester.
So I have decided that this is my year... I am focusing on me.
Do you ever feel like as great as your life is you go along and then somewhere along the way you lose yourself? Well I have, so I'm setting about finding me again!
I'm going to concentrate on making more time for myself
I'm going to learn how to say No to people rather than just keep the peace and do it the answer will be No
I'm going to really get back in to my scrapbooking, its something I love but havent put in the time or the effort in to at all lately
I'm going to start eating better, I concentrate so much on making sure the kids eat well, and dont do it myself, so its time to start!
I'm going to stop smoking again, I'm so cross at myself that I started again.
I'm going to work on our Budget, I am so sick of just making it through to the next week we never use to be like this, so its time to pull our heads in and stop with the damn spending!
But finally I'm going to put more effort in to being a better mother to my kids, they mean the world to me and a few things have happened this year that made them come second, well its not going to happen again, they are the first and foremost priority in my life and they will always know that from now on.
So there you have it, I have a plan, a purpose...definately NOT a new years resolution, I think they are a crock of shit! its just my plan and my purpose for this year.
I can feel it.... this is going to be MY YEAR!
*smooches*