What if it's us???

that is the reason he is more immature? what if we did it??
I'll back up a bit, Husband and I have been discussing of late our 12 year old Wonder Boy and the joys of parenting...ok that's a lie, it's been friggen hard work of late with him and his hormones and all of a sudden he is disobeying us, being decietful and generally just not being our everyday boy!
For Christmas he got his own laptop which came with restrictions guidelines and what not, which we felt where within average boyish boundries. Good Friday comes around and we find out he is terrifying his sister on it with one of those email pictures going around the ones where the face screams at the screen? you know the ones, pretty countryside, you're intensly starting at the screen and next minute a face pops up screaming...well a week earlier he showed her one and terrified her and then I find out he showed her another one...hmmm...I was positive the discussion his father and I had the first time would have been enough to make him sit back and say nope wont do that again..apparently not :( I understand too that its a bit of sibling mucking around, god the stuff I did to my sister!!
He is playing all these games that I feel are to old for him, but then a few outsiders have said no they are ok, he wants to watch things that I'm uncomfortable with but then again others seem to think it's ok...
Now while I refuse to parent based on what every othe tom dick and harriet are doing with their kids, it has led hubby and I to question ourselves...is it us??? are we the ones who is wrapping him in cotton wool rather than these other parents giving their kids to much room to move? maybe it is us and the way we parent?? That then led us to the discussion that when we were kids we knew when they said No they meant No and when we were told to clean our rooms we didn't look at our parents as if they were on crack, we grumbled and moaned but we got on with the job and got it done so we could get back outside...which then brought us back to the same question...IS IT US??? are we doing the wrong thing? is he more immature than his mates because we baby him? When do you let go a little? how do you know when to trust that you've done a good enough job that he will be responsible in his decisions and come to understand that voice in his head that says, hell no Mum and Dad wont approve of this???? I'm really really struggling with this right now, he starts Secondary School next year and honestly I look at his mates and think he is so much more immature than them, but then is he? or is he just playing it up to me and his father?
Honestly this is hard,hard hard work, so rewarding but bloody hard and I often feel like I'm having an out of body experience at the minute and I'll say something and look around to see if my mum is standing behind me or did that really come out my mouth!!
As parents our job to is to love, nuture and guide our children in to becoming the best human beings they can, but who is there to guide us? what may be one persons parenting ideas is not another, so really we all just kinda flounder along hoping that we're doing an ok job? or do we just hope that someone, anyone says, Hey you can do this! you're doing ok so far and soon it will get easier???
So my question to you guys....Do you feel you're getting a handle on this parenting gig?
Ok enough of my rambling...which quite possibly made no sense at all!
I'll be back with pretties and lightness next post
Xoxox