Defining Personal...

I'm a little behind in the Simplify Your Life challenge prompts due to us having a family holiday and then needing to stop and take stock of what was going on with my precious girl (I'll post a little more about that at the end of this post)
Anyway before i go off on another tangent I'll stay focussed on the topic at hand!
I decided to write a bit of a list of the Values that really speak to may have your own list of values and that's fabulous, but these are the ones that come to mind for me..

Self Worth

One of the prompting questions this week was
"What do you feel strongly about in life?-What things would you defend fully in an argument with other people?
For me, it's Racism..I just cannot get my head around it..I don't understand how hate and ignorance can harbour so deep in some people.
I am trying to raise my children that we are ALL Equal, we are all entitled to the same freedom..but it shocks me that even in this day and age there are people who are still racist..not only shocks me but disgusts me a little..while I'm all for everyone having their own opinion and voice heard, when that voice is spoken and it's filled with hate shouldn't it be silenced?
A lot of our "friends" that we are in contact with regularly don't see themselves as a racist, yet still choose to make smart ass remarks about asians, sudonese etc all the while thinking they are humourous..faking someones accent is not humorous, it's rude and disrespectful.
I don't find it amusing when you talk to me like you are Asian, I also don't find it acceptable to listen to you rant that "they came to our country, they need to speak our language" what a lot of rubbish..So from here on in if you're in my house, around my children and you choose to behave like that, stop and think about it first and if you do continue with it, you'll find yourself seeing less and less of us.
I have this conversation in my head all the time and one that I have repeated on many see my dad
(actually he's my stepdad but a father to me in every sense of the word) is a Kiwi..born and raised in New Zealand. And I remember when i was at high school we were having a conversation about different countries etc and he said to me "Juice, if you are going to be a racist, you may as well include me in that because to be a racist means you cannot tolerate anyone who isn't Australian born and bred here like you, doesn't have your white skin, hasn't lived your lifestyle" I sat back and took in what he said and the conversation has stuck in my head ever since..there was no way I couldn't be accepting of it was a simple choice for accepting, We are all EQUAL..

So with my list of Value words chosen I had to choose 5...just 5..:O are you kidding LOL, after staring at the computer screen for what seems like eternity! (thank god for auto save blogger!!!) I've narrowed them down to 5 in ranking order!

This speaks to me in volumes, and on so many different levels.. To have respect for ones self is so powerful, I have a quote saved on my computer that I adore..
Self-respect cannot be hunted. It cannot be purchased. It is never for sale. It cannot be fabricated out of public relations. It comes to us when we are alone, in quiet moments, in quiet places, when we suddenly realize that, knowing the good, we have done it; knowing the beautiful, we have served it; knowing the truth we have spoken it. This is a value that I'm instilling in my have respect for themselves, but to also respect others.

Self Worth
Finding Self Worth can be a hard saddens me that there are so many that have no self worth. Some days I know for me it's a struggle to find my own self worth, am I enough? I question myself too that how am I meant to teach my daughter in particular that she is enough, her whole being is exactly as it should be when i question myself to often..This value is one I have on my list to work on..

Some of the most incredible people I know have pure acceptance of who they are and aren't afraid to let the world know..they accept themselves for what they are and who they are and make no excuses for it, and refuse to change for anyone.. I love this..
The most beautiful and powerful people in the world have acceptance of themselves and for everyone around them.

Speaks for itself honest with yourself and those around you and things are less complicated. While I may still have people in my life that have been caught out to be dishonest and obviously not valuing our friendship I haven't forgotten that honesty is clearly a value they don't hold high on their priority list. That's their issue to deal with, not mine so I let them go along with their merry selves!
Honesty is what's kept my marriage and relationship with my gorgeous hubby amazing for 17 years and if that's what I get out of holding that value them I'm hanging on to it with both hands tightly!

I often get told by people I'm to kind...really?? that's absurd to me, how can someone be to kind? I don't understand that. The age old adage, treat people as you would like to be treated still rings true for me.. I like to be kind, it makes me feel good LOL, being bitter and angry at the world never got anyone nowhere, well actually it did, a fast track route to loneliness if you ask me! But I'm not a do gooder like out of the movies, but I do think I am kind, and I like to help takes nothing to be kind to someone, it doesn't cost anything. And if I can go to bed at night and think well I did the best I could today, I did all I was capable of and I was kind then at least I'm doing ok! No I'm not a door mat like I said, I'm also not a crack whore, but it is still possible to be kind these days people!

So there you have it, my 5 core value words, it was actually harder than I thought to narrow it down to 5! Values that I'm going to work on more with my babes this year.
Thanks for reading, I'd really love to hear what yours are!

Side bar- so we got to the nitty gritty of things with my beautiful Pixie, and it was what we thought :( she looks at food and thinks it isn't healthy enough, she'll get fat if she eats to much of it etc..I know that part of her Aspie traits is that she needs to have control of things and that for the present moment it's food but it's not something I'll allow, we are getting her back to her psychologist, we've have many in depth conversations with her about her self worth and acceptance of who she is. We've also talked about her sensory issues with food and how we can accomodate that. She felt that if she was to ask for a different meal to the rest of us because she didn't like how it felt, tasted, the color etc that she was basically putting a flag above her head saying "Hey look at me, I'm already really different and now I stand out at the dinner table too" :( poor kid it breaks out heart. But that's where we are at, that's the hand we have been dealt and it's for a reason, that I'm certain of.
We can't thank everyone enough for their never ending support, the private messages on facebook, the txt messages, the pictures of beautiful quotes. It really is humbling to know we have the support.


Nannie6 said...

Wow girl when did you get so knowlegable,you never cease to amaze me and Im proud to call myself your Mum xoxo

donna said...

And this is why I love you my beautiful friend <3

Deb @ home life simplified said...

Wonderful post - your values all connect through knowing, accepting and valuing yourself (and being kind including to yourself).

Re- your side note I am in a similar situation with feeding my daughter - we have done the nutritionist thing and I wonder whether a psychologist is the next step for us - it has been a hard 5 years - she is afraid of many foods, texture issues, has to touch and play with food and gets it all over (she is 8 yo), mostly white foods etc. Big hugs to you and your daughter- we have shed many tears her over meals and wanting to be "normal".

Ness said...

Beautiful Post Tam ..
I hope you sort things out with your beautiful little girl soon xox