Leavin on a jet plane....

So today Hubby flew out for business till Thursday..Off we toddle to the airport, Im thinking..it's all gonna be ok, never mind that I am having the nausea day from hell, I'm tired and worked myself in to a state.
No no it's all going to be good...
Yup illusion shattered...we are saying goodbye before he has to go through customs and Diva is sobbing, clutching his leg.."Please Daddy, I dont want you to go..dont leave us here."
Wonder Boy then starts crying.."Daddy whose gonna play castles with me at night?" It truly must have been a pitiful site to an outsider, but at that point watching my 2 babes clutching their Daddy crying I about lost it...I was doing great..was a little proud of myself..then he looked me in the eye, told me he loved me, gave my tummy a little rub, then held my cheek and kissed me on the lips...Yup enter the tears..
You see, we really dont spend anytime apart, he truly is my whole world, my best friend my everything..so the thought of spending time away from him and sleeping in the bed without him, honestly makes my heart ache :( Pitiful I tell you! So we now have a giant calendar plastered on the fridge for the kids to mark off the days till our Superhero comes home!!
On another note, we had our ultrasound the other day...it was.......magic.
I was so nervous and scared going in to the ultrasound and the guy sensed it and asked if I was ok, hubby basically filled him in and said that the one we had last year was basically and empty sac. So the guy looks and me and says "honey do you want me to turn the monitor off?" I told him no it was ok, I would just look at hubby..
So off he goes waving his magic wand around, next minute my man starts grinning, the guy goes Oh would you look at that! It's the heart beat!! YAY jellybean, grow little one grow!!
it's amazing to look at the screen and see that perfect little creation right there...Was so fantastic! So the due date they have given me is May 13th! In the meantime little one..you just grow for me and get stronger everyday you hear?

It's all going to be good...

I just need to keep looking at this picture and remind myself that everything is going to be ok.
I had a car accident today..not a major one, but enough to scare me and have me and hubby running off to the Dr's..
I am so scared right now, I cannot lose this baby....
I dont pray but right now I'm calling on everything that's out there to watch over me and the jellybean..stay in there little darlin and keep growing...I know you can do it...
The Dr said I have to take it easy for the next few days..so I plan on doing nothing..not a damn thing...

Incubating!!

So after 18 months, a whole lot of heartbreak and gallons of shed tears...
We are finally expecting...
I am incubating!! I'm up the duff, preggers, with child..
However you want to put it...it has finally happened, we are really going to have another baby.
But here's the flipside...
I'm so scared..I'm trying to relax and keep calm about it all, but as excited as I am, I am equally nervous and scared.
This baby is so wanted and already so loved that I would truly be devastated *if* and I'm praying it doesnt..if this one ended in a miscarriage...
Everyone keeps telling me to think positive and everything will be fine..well I did that last time as well, and we lost our very wanted very loved baby.
But all that aside..here I am...expecting another beautiful babe to add to our family!
I took 3 pregnancy tests and a blood test to confirm it, I was in shock that they were positive!!
Hubby is so excited, everytime he looks at me he smiles or laughs..this past 18 months has been equally as hard for him as it has for me.
So I'm 5 weeks along and counting everyday as a blessing...Just cos I can I'll post a pic of my test! It's not very clear though!
I'm going to try and update this as much as possible, sort of like a pregnancy journal I guess, cos lets face it, I am to damn disorganised to keep it on paper in hopes I can catch up on my scrapbooking!!. I highly doubt it will be on a regular basis though